Disregard

Disregard, or from a less negative perspective, the lack of regard, is something that individuals with developmental disabilities are very familiar with. In fact, it is probably the most common treatment received when not encountering blatant abuse. When the lack of regard is intentional, it is usually more blatant and possibly done with a bit of arrogance. This kind of disregard is more painful, but, as it is intentional, I think that it can be addressed directly, possibly with some success.


However, the unintentional lack of regard is far harder to address, especially when the perpetrator is totally unaware and "good intentioned" and should know better. You will hear excuses like, "I didn't mean anything by it," "Don't be so sensitive or petty", or many other dismissive remarks. Many times they will not even remember the occasion. Where unintentional lack of regard becomes the most surprising is when is it is done by individuals who should know better and who have a blind spot the size of a Mack truck. It is similar to the individual who is completely unaware of or refuses to accept the existence of male and/or white privilege.

This weekend I was a presenter at a conference for a national Christian professional organization. I am also on the organizing committee. Also in attendance were various members of the Sunday School class for developmentally disabled adults that my family and I attend. My last presentation was during the last breakout session of the day. The presenter (a special ed teacher) before me had such an "important" presentation that he didn't finish his presentation until the break was over and 5 minutes into my time. The contingent of developmentally disabled adults that were waiting in the hallway with me wondered why the speaker wasn't stopping when his time was up. When we finally were able to get in, the speaker took about fifteen minutes to gather up his stuff, which in itself was also very distracting. As a person with Asperger's Syndrome, it is difficult for me to get started when I don't have time to adjust in the setting. One of my accommodations for my classes at UCR was not having to go first when giving class presentations.

This was not the end of the story. While the presenter was packing up, three full-time special education professors from the host university came in and out talking loudly, laughing and joking among themselves. They were all waiting to escort the previous presenter to another session.

I was well known to the three professors and the fact that we were all colleagues should have been a trigger for respect and regard. However, I am open about my Asperger's Syndrome problems and experiences, so, was I lesser because I do not deny my disability (as others hide or don't discuss theirs)? Was it that most of the individuals waiting for the next presentation were developmentally disabled? I don't know the why, but I do know how the lack of regard felt, and the discomfort it gave my close friends who experience disability in a more personal and public way than I do.